My family is currently attending a Smart Steps class for stepfamilies. My kids claim that they don’t need the class because everything is fine among members of the stepfamily. In fact, I have been targeted as the chief cause of family discord for enrolling them in a class that wastes their time. Of course, I’m also blamed for the tedium of homework, the necessity for sunscreen, and the flavor of green beans.
Lesson number one: Biologically related children are not to be called “real” or “natural” siblings, but “bio” siblings. When we drive to the class, we fill the seven-seat minivan, and the bio bickering ensues.
I like this class so far but wonder where we sign up to keep peace among bio siblings. Our family has two big brothers and a bunch of little sisters. Naturally, conflicts occur, and everyone takes turns being the instigator. My sisters and I attended the School of Knock It Off Or You’ll Walk. Maybe bio irritation serves a purpose, like preparing us for all the pests we’ll come across throughout our lives.
In an attempt to get out of the class, one child (whose identity I’ll protect for my own safety) asked, “Do I still have to go? I didn’t fight with anyone all weekend.” Maybe that’s not the outcome the course creators intended, but I’d still call it a success.
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I recently became a stepmom and my husband became a stepdad. I think “blended family” sounds much more benign than referring to ourselves as a hodgepodge of step-people, but the title does not determine the relationship. And thank goodness. Disney has done stepmothers no favors, though I know many of the stories’ origins go back centuries. Authors sacrifice poor mothers just to throw in a wicked, warty stepmom to antagonize the princess. Stepdads have gotten off relatively easy…or so I thought until I discovered that the recently released movie, The Stepfather, was actually a remake of a 1980s movie.
I have not seen either film and have no plans to. I got my share of entertainment from the film just from the commercial. More specifically, it was my husband’s reaction to the ad that provided the amusement. He groaned, he cursed, he flung his arms into the air. Wasn’t it hard enough to be the good guy, without having this stereotype stoked? He’s been navigating through new territory with four kids of both genders, of varied ages and of amazingly different temperaments. He needs all the positive reinforcement he can get. Now his new title is freshly vilified for the masses.
Poor reviews of the movie have comforted my husband a bit. I still think stepmoms have it bad, but at least in Stepmom, it is just the mother getting killed, without a clueless father marrying a demon. I haven’t seen that movie either, but I understand that the stepmom is not trying to kill or poison or imprison anyone. Besides, stepdad movies were proven to be even ickier with a French one which offs the mom (yet again), but this time, the stepdad reportedly turns into a pedophile.
Fortunately, these stepparent portrayals should make the average of us look good in comparison.
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Themocracy