Cady: Are we still in a fight?
Janis: You still an a**hole?
Cady: No. I don’t think so.
–from Mean Girls, the movie

I’ve seen the movies. I’ve even been a girl. Fellow moms keep reminding me, “Girls can be mean.” I know how to handle car seats, algebra and skinned knees, but after 16 years of being a parent, I still don’t know how to handle the mean kid. My daughter is entering the stage where friends turn to frenemies to enemies and sometimes back again…maybe all in the course of an afternoon.
My sons have encountered the occasional jerk who will push you into the wall or slam your locker shut, but with those guys, you know where you stand.
My daughter has received taunts so mean that I have told her to drop that person as a friend for good. But they make up and move on, and sometimes repeat the process. My daughter is more forgiving and pragmatic than I am. She knows that her social circle is a tangled web. Plus, she’s incapable of holding a grudge. I, on the other hand, don’t forget when it comes to my kids.
I generally preach peace and love, but I sometimes fantasize about taking the low road. Is it wrong to trip a kid who is all Shirley Temple on the outside but Leona Helmsley on the inside? A knowledgeable 7th-grade girl has assured me that although I can’t do it, paying another youngster to do it is perfectly ethical.

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